I have been blogging for 2 years and 7 months. What began as a way to document my study abroad trip, something silly and fun, my name in a url, has turned into a part of who I am.
Words have become my way of expression, my way of changing the world. Every mistake I made, every battle I fought could change another person’s life if I shared it with the world. I taught myself to be open with who I am. By writing about my anxiety disorder, about my career changes, about my love and my brokenness, about my self-identity and sometimes lack of it, I was able to impact hundreds of people. I found a way to connect with so many by making them feel like individuals. I found a way to leave my past behind me. I found a way to bridge the gap between miscommunication and understanding. I found a love for something that has done nothing but grow who I am and grow those around me.
People have been telling me for the last year or so that I should write a book. I’d follow up with “what would I write about?” or “I’m not good enough to write a book” or “who would read it?” (I know you would read my book, Mom). While I openly dismissed this idea, I stored it in the back of my mind, but thought about it more often than I was willing to admit.
Then one day, I woke up. I realized that writing a book was something that I wanted to do. That it was something that I COULD DO. That this very website has been read by y’all ten thousand times, so I could hope that I could sell maybe a few copies of a book. That I have changed lives with my vulnerability, with the rawness and poetic nature of my words. That I was tired of people calling me an excuse or calling my words meaningless. That instead of letting them win, I was going to do what they would never be able to do: write a book.
I may not have all the right words. I may not know what it takes to succeed in this world. I may not have handled every situation in my life they way I should have. I may not be the most perfect candidate to write a book.
But I am a girl with a story. I am a girl who continues to write her story every day. I am a girl who has been blessed by mountaintop high experiences, I am a girl who has been blessed by valleys and valleys of heartbreaks and disappointments. I am a girl with a lot of words in this little head of hers. I am a girl who wants to change the world and has realized: I’ve changed many worlds with my words, so why stop now?
Letters to myself, letters to you. Letters to my life. Letters make words and letters change worlds and my book will do all of that. I may sound like a “crazy twenty-something with an idea that she is never going to accomplish.” However, I can promise you one thing: This girl is writing a book. And you will read it one day.
So, here’s a thank you to everyone I have ever loved who has been in my life even though there might be a fear that you’ll end up on this very site. A thank you for understanding that even my biggest disappointments in life have turned into an art form through my words. A thank you for playing a role in my life and for allowing me to find these words to write everyday.
For now, this is all you get to know. But I will say, if there’s any story in our lives together that you think is worthy, hit a girl up and let me know. You might see yourself in ink one day.